A royal grand opening turned into a royal embarrassment for one of the contestants on England’s most regal reality show, “Welcome to the (Royal) Family.”
Douglas Simms, 49-year-old lorry driver from London’s East End, disappeared about 30 minutes after helping to dedicate a new children’s after-school centre in Oxford.
Simms and the other contestants had cut the ceremonial ribbon and spoken a few words – all of which were monitored closely by programme judges – then were given a brief tour of the facility. They were then encouraged to interact with some of the children and serve them biscuits and juice.
After about 30 minutes, Simms was nowhere to be found. Local police were summoned; programme producers were frantic.
“Where the bloody hell is he?” demanded Hyacinth Marple-Holmes, the programme's executive producer. “Members of the Royal Family simply do not walk away from a photo opportunity. I’ll kick his bloody arse when I find him!”
Constables were pulled off the search after about 45 minutes when they received word of trouble at the Green Dragon Pub down the street from the after-school centre.
Douglas Simms, 49-year-old lorry driver from London’s East End, disappeared about 30 minutes after helping to dedicate a new children’s after-school centre in Oxford.
Simms and the other contestants had cut the ceremonial ribbon and spoken a few words – all of which were monitored closely by programme judges – then were given a brief tour of the facility. They were then encouraged to interact with some of the children and serve them biscuits and juice.
After about 30 minutes, Simms was nowhere to be found. Local police were summoned; programme producers were frantic.
“Where the bloody hell is he?” demanded Hyacinth Marple-Holmes, the programme's executive producer. “Members of the Royal Family simply do not walk away from a photo opportunity. I’ll kick his bloody arse when I find him!”
Constables were pulled off the search after about 45 minutes when they received word of trouble at the Green Dragon Pub down the street from the after-school centre.
That’s where they found Simms.
“Mr. Simms was behaving rather rudely,” said Constable Henry Morse after Simms was put into a panda car and driven to the nearest station.
“He was standing on the bar with a dustbin on his noggin’, claimin’ he was King of England,” said John Walker, one of the patrons in the pub at the time. “He was puttin’ on a right good show, he was.”
Marple-Holmes explained later that the strain of the competition had overtaken Simms.
“He was suffering from nervous exhaustion,” she told reporters outside the police station. “He’ll be going home now, where he can get some rest.”
“I just wanted a pint!” Simms yelled to reporters as he was driven from the scene.
No comments:
Post a Comment